What the future beholds…

It’s official…the ‘Caravan of Dreams’ will remain in Australia.

Some of you will ask the inevitable question of “What does this mean? Aren’t you already based in Australia?”. Hence, let me rephrase…the ‘Caravan of Dreams’ will not be returning back to his homeland on a permanent basis. This is final.

I am ready and decided on calling Australia my future home. After spending more than half a decade here in Melbourne and building up what is afterall my life, I am now prepared to see all things through over here. Its interesting, in the first three years I have always thought that my destiny lay in the shores of my homeland. But as time goes by, I find myself increasingly settled in my not so new environment. It is as if, this is where I belong.

To be honest, I am not after the money for Malaysia’s extremely laissez-faire medical ‘system’ is fertile ground for any fresh overseas graduate to establish himself (especially considering I already have a ‘base’ which I can inherit off my parents, should I choose to). Its not about ‘seeking a better life’ for Malaysia is a decent country by many standards and there are many opportunities for one who is willing to work for it.

Truth be told, I have never thought of Malaysia as my true home. My outlook, philosophy, interests and above all my beliefs in life, simply does not fit into contemporary Malaysian (or to be more specific, Malaysian Chinese) society. I have lived long enough in Malaysia to understand those key differences and to be hurt by them as well.

“Why don’t you adapt? Aren’t you one of those who speaks a lot about adapting?”, one may ask. I have no answer to that. At least deep down inside, I know I am making the right decision. The Malaysia I know has spat me out before and I know it will continue to do so. The urbanized community is too preoccupied with money/position while the semi-urban community are similarly preoccupied but with closed minds and if I dare say, a touch of misinformed xenophobia. What could a caravan of dreams do in a land where dreams are limited or sometimes rejected?

That last line was good, wasn’t it? Well…at least I thought it was.

Whatever it is, I am almost ready to cut ties (geographic not relational) with anything/anyone back here in Malaysia. There is almost nothing left for me here except for family. All my closest friends are either in Melbourne or have left for other distant shores.

What is there to miss? Everything around us are but temporary and we can always build paradise wherever we are. As long as you have the dream for it and that you are willing to put your heart into it (the soul belongs to heaven, mind you).

So from now on…que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be.



~ by shybeg122 on January 5, 2008.

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