The ‘Victimization’ Complex

Lately, someone is having some issues with how I relate to that particular person. Yes, I’d be the first to admit that it is partly my fault. I have since identified the problem and now am proceeding with rectifying it.

However, please indulge me the opportunity to voice out something which I carried in my heart for awhile now. It is as what the title says: the ‘Victimization’ Complex.

From the very beginning, I have always maintained the opinion that in every conflict, both sides are at fault. There is no one victim or one perpetrator. Both sides have a role to play in causing a conflict and both have the responsibility to resolve the issue at hand. One to seek forgiveness and the other to forgive.

This principle do not go well with some people especially those who want to play the ‘victim’ role. Now…I emphasize the word ‘play’ here. Most humans need to be given the label of ‘victim’ in order to feel better about themselves. There are many reasons for this. For example, the status of being the ‘victim’ allows them to be absolved of all responsibilities (i.e. running away). More importantly, they are able to distribute blame beyond themselves. In some ways, it is akin to the ‘Sick Role Model’ outlined by Parsons.

There is nothing wrong in playing ‘victim’ if that is what one needs to do in order to get back on one’s feet. The problem I have with this is when people spiral into the ‘victimization’ complex or in some scenarios, the ‘perseceution’ complex. To sum up in a few words, this complex involves the ‘victim’ refusing (I emphasize, refusing…not ignoring or forgetting) to acknowledge their own role not only in the conflict but also in solving the overall issue. If there is a deficit to acknowledge…by all means please rectify it! It’s not as if the world owes you everything, in fact it owes you nothing.

This complex is nearly just an extension of selfish and self-centered thoughts.

The superior human is one who looks beyond him or herself.

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~ by shybeg122 on April 28, 2008.

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